So just as I was hitting my lowest point since being in India, God surprised me with a bright beam of His glory...and I sat in wonder. A light of hope that shot through the "dark of it." (Chapter 1, last blog).
We had taken Harinad(Nadu) and Aravind back to their home in the slum for a three day festival. It was hard to leave them there, and all I could do was pray. They are not mine, and I am not their protector...God is. And none of our children are actually ours either. A lesson I came to learn after He took my only daughter, Evelyn, home to heaven. So, on the way to their slum, Nadu asked Daniel to tell me he wanted me to take him to America with me. At that point, he translated it to me that "Harinad said he wanted to go to America," so I honestly didn't think much of it at the time.
If you read my post "Harinad & Aravind" you would know that we moved two orphan boys from the slum to the orphanage we have been visiting regularly. The younger, Aravind(6), is actually the uncle to Nadu(7), which is actually something I only came to know about later in this story. I thought they were brothers since the time we met them. They have adjusted pretty well at the orphanage, and we are very happy about their progress and overall well-being.
When we went to pick them up at the end of the festival, I was so relieved and happy to see them. Nadu sat next to me and we asked them how their visit was. They said they ate chicken and flew kites the whole time. Aravind cried back at the house before his older brother took them to the main road where we were, according to Nadu. So, we asked him about it, and he started crying a little, and he said that no, he was crying about something else. He is so happy all the time and just so sweet, and he was clearly not wanting us to know he was sad or unhappy to go back to the orphanage. However, they both seemed ready to get back to their friends, and just as there were squeals upon entering their slum, Nadu was screaming "Rocky!" before we could get out of the auto upon returning to the orphanage. We weren't sure how they would react to leaving their home again...not knowing when they would be back again.
After we picked them up to go back, I was noticing how much Aravind looked like his older brother and the other siblings I met in the slum, and this was before I knew that the two boys were not brothers. So, I was telling Daniel how much Aravind looked like his siblings and that Harinad did not. He informed me that that was because Harinad was the son of one of Aravind's deceased sisters. I then began imagining what age Harinad's mother and father might have been, and was thinking they would most likely be close to my age. I was also thinking about how I had felt a strong connection with Harinad more than Aravind from the beginning, and thought that maybe it had something to do with his mother. Maybe she had some part in connecting us...I just felt there was something more to it. I was thinking to myself, I wonder what it is about this boy, or about his mother? I asked Daniel to ask him if he had any other siblings, and he began to tell some story and held his arms out as if holding an infant, and looked down at his hands. I felt the pain and heaviness in his voice, and in that very moment, I somehow knew exactly what he was saying. I asked Daniel to translate what he said, and he told me that Nadu said that his younger sister had died, that she was stillborn. I was immediately overwhelmed experiencing the Holy Spirit move in this moment that only God could orchestrate...and it's in these moments that God feels closer than ever before, and I feel as though I have shared a moment with all of heaven, and maybe even caught a small glimpse of God's divine glory. I sat back in silence and in the fullness of the Holy Spirit to let it all sink in. I thought of his mother and what she had endured, and then about this little boy, and how much loss he had suffered with his baby sister, who he most likely saw and maybe held; and then the loss of both his mother and father. It was not an accident that God had connected us, and maybe with the help of Nadu's angels and my little angel...and I knew then with an absolute certainty why I had felt so connected to him more than any of the other children. And to think that even before knowing this, it was a moment with Nadu that made it "more clear then ever before why God had allowed Evie to die"...(written at the end of "Harinad & Aravind"). And why I had been called to India...and it becomes clearer every single day.
The day after we dropped them off, Daniel said that he could just not get it out of his mind that Harinad had asked me to take him to America. He said that none of the other children had asked much about me or from me...much less something like this...
Since all this happened, I have been praying about whether God is asking more of me, especially in regards to these little boys...or just this one little boy. I played around with a few scenarios, and yet, I am still just praying for God to reveal what he wants of me. Once we have a rented space, and an NGO in place, it is a possibility that we would take the boys and Krupa for the summer. Harinad has not been adjusting as well as Aravind, or behaving as well I should say, so I have that question in my mind...is this a sign?...what if God has simply called me to help just one? My dream is to build an orphanage and school in a rural area and make it somewhat of a dreamland for orphan and abandoned children. I love the idea that I would bring all of the kids at the current orphanage we are working at to this new place. This dream may come to fruition, but God's plan is His plan, and so I am trying to listen and be obedient to exactly what He is asking, large or small.
God's ways are not our ways, and this has been a theme He keeps speaking to me about here. In regards to missions philosophy, I don't believe there is some exact formula on how and who to help. God wants to provide abundantly for those that love him, to show His faithfulness and His great love, and I believe He uses us to be an example of that to others. So, what if it is God's plan for me to abundantly help change one life, or if it is His plan for me to give a dreamland to 100 orphans instead of feeding 10,000 for one day?
A few days ago, I was thinking about Harinad getting complaints from parents that he is hitting their children at school, etc. And then the conversation we had with him after we heard he was telling people he had a girlfriend and could give her name and tell all about her...he was just on my mind. My window was open, and as I was thinking about all of this, I heard a lady outside screaming..."HARINAAAD!!" I had to laugh...God is so funny sometimes...
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8
“And I pray that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.” Ephesians 3:17-19
We had taken Harinad(Nadu) and Aravind back to their home in the slum for a three day festival. It was hard to leave them there, and all I could do was pray. They are not mine, and I am not their protector...God is. And none of our children are actually ours either. A lesson I came to learn after He took my only daughter, Evelyn, home to heaven. So, on the way to their slum, Nadu asked Daniel to tell me he wanted me to take him to America with me. At that point, he translated it to me that "Harinad said he wanted to go to America," so I honestly didn't think much of it at the time.
If you read my post "Harinad & Aravind" you would know that we moved two orphan boys from the slum to the orphanage we have been visiting regularly. The younger, Aravind(6), is actually the uncle to Nadu(7), which is actually something I only came to know about later in this story. I thought they were brothers since the time we met them. They have adjusted pretty well at the orphanage, and we are very happy about their progress and overall well-being.
When we went to pick them up at the end of the festival, I was so relieved and happy to see them. Nadu sat next to me and we asked them how their visit was. They said they ate chicken and flew kites the whole time. Aravind cried back at the house before his older brother took them to the main road where we were, according to Nadu. So, we asked him about it, and he started crying a little, and he said that no, he was crying about something else. He is so happy all the time and just so sweet, and he was clearly not wanting us to know he was sad or unhappy to go back to the orphanage. However, they both seemed ready to get back to their friends, and just as there were squeals upon entering their slum, Nadu was screaming "Rocky!" before we could get out of the auto upon returning to the orphanage. We weren't sure how they would react to leaving their home again...not knowing when they would be back again.
After we picked them up to go back, I was noticing how much Aravind looked like his older brother and the other siblings I met in the slum, and this was before I knew that the two boys were not brothers. So, I was telling Daniel how much Aravind looked like his siblings and that Harinad did not. He informed me that that was because Harinad was the son of one of Aravind's deceased sisters. I then began imagining what age Harinad's mother and father might have been, and was thinking they would most likely be close to my age. I was also thinking about how I had felt a strong connection with Harinad more than Aravind from the beginning, and thought that maybe it had something to do with his mother. Maybe she had some part in connecting us...I just felt there was something more to it. I was thinking to myself, I wonder what it is about this boy, or about his mother? I asked Daniel to ask him if he had any other siblings, and he began to tell some story and held his arms out as if holding an infant, and looked down at his hands. I felt the pain and heaviness in his voice, and in that very moment, I somehow knew exactly what he was saying. I asked Daniel to translate what he said, and he told me that Nadu said that his younger sister had died, that she was stillborn. I was immediately overwhelmed experiencing the Holy Spirit move in this moment that only God could orchestrate...and it's in these moments that God feels closer than ever before, and I feel as though I have shared a moment with all of heaven, and maybe even caught a small glimpse of God's divine glory. I sat back in silence and in the fullness of the Holy Spirit to let it all sink in. I thought of his mother and what she had endured, and then about this little boy, and how much loss he had suffered with his baby sister, who he most likely saw and maybe held; and then the loss of both his mother and father. It was not an accident that God had connected us, and maybe with the help of Nadu's angels and my little angel...and I knew then with an absolute certainty why I had felt so connected to him more than any of the other children. And to think that even before knowing this, it was a moment with Nadu that made it "more clear then ever before why God had allowed Evie to die"...(written at the end of "Harinad & Aravind"). And why I had been called to India...and it becomes clearer every single day.
The day after we dropped them off, Daniel said that he could just not get it out of his mind that Harinad had asked me to take him to America. He said that none of the other children had asked much about me or from me...much less something like this...
Since all this happened, I have been praying about whether God is asking more of me, especially in regards to these little boys...or just this one little boy. I played around with a few scenarios, and yet, I am still just praying for God to reveal what he wants of me. Once we have a rented space, and an NGO in place, it is a possibility that we would take the boys and Krupa for the summer. Harinad has not been adjusting as well as Aravind, or behaving as well I should say, so I have that question in my mind...is this a sign?...what if God has simply called me to help just one? My dream is to build an orphanage and school in a rural area and make it somewhat of a dreamland for orphan and abandoned children. I love the idea that I would bring all of the kids at the current orphanage we are working at to this new place. This dream may come to fruition, but God's plan is His plan, and so I am trying to listen and be obedient to exactly what He is asking, large or small.
God's ways are not our ways, and this has been a theme He keeps speaking to me about here. In regards to missions philosophy, I don't believe there is some exact formula on how and who to help. God wants to provide abundantly for those that love him, to show His faithfulness and His great love, and I believe He uses us to be an example of that to others. So, what if it is God's plan for me to abundantly help change one life, or if it is His plan for me to give a dreamland to 100 orphans instead of feeding 10,000 for one day?
A few days ago, I was thinking about Harinad getting complaints from parents that he is hitting their children at school, etc. And then the conversation we had with him after we heard he was telling people he had a girlfriend and could give her name and tell all about her...he was just on my mind. My window was open, and as I was thinking about all of this, I heard a lady outside screaming..."HARINAAAD!!" I had to laugh...God is so funny sometimes...
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8
“And I pray that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.” Ephesians 3:17-19
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