The last couple weeks I have felt discouraged. This is very normal, given I have been here only two months. The "new people" excitement has dulled down a bit at the orphanage, and so we have entered this awkward phase of "how do we fit in?"...and they are having many questions in their mind, like When is the next time they are going to donate something?.. Are they getting too close to the kids?.. Are they a threat?.. How long are they actually going to be coming here?.. Are they finding out too much about how we are running this place?, etc. We started a regular after school Bible Study last week(Tues.-Thurs), and we have already begun to feel a little push back or maybe it is just the enemy...I dunno. Our third day, someone donated and delivered a pile of cut wood, and so when we arrived we were told we couldn't do Bible Study that day. In total, Daniel and I had spent about 2 hours traveling round trip and had spent a decent amount of money(for India) on travel expenses. Of course no one thought to call us to let us know, and no one bothered to apologize either. It was disappointing to see it was only the younger kids helping, and only about three at a time that were actually moving the wood...while the teenage kids were doing nothing it seemed. We wanted to say, hey, we have traveled all this way, can they take a break for one hour to learn the lesson for today? What happened that day just didn't seem logical to me. It seemed more like an opportunity for them to say, we are still in control. The truth is that the love of Jesus shown through His surrendered followers is a powerful thing...and when there is power involved...people in "power" will feel threatened.
I already had the feeling prior to this day that we might be seen as a little bit of a threat, especially to the founder who is like the Matriarch there who already conducts prayer and Bible reading with the kids each night. It's strange because we were even asked to do more with the kids, and also got approval before starting our "program." So, on the way there the next visit, I told Daniel that if anything goes against our plan, or if something comes up, we will just continue to be very patient and agreeable. We should not let the enemy win, because He certainly does not want us to teach and show the love of God to these children, so we need to preserve the relationship with people in charge at all costs. The last time(wood day), we had expressed to one of the teenage girls(who is actually a granddaughter to the founder) that in the future a phone call would be really nice, so not sure how that was translated or how they received that. So, we show up on the next visit, and about five minutes after we got there, waiting for them to finish their lunch to start, the older girls(four, around age 12) were called to do laundry. It was as if we were not even there...
We were disappointed, and for the girls mostly, because we know that they enjoy our study, and wouldn't be happy about being taken away for laundry. I ended up playing some funny videos on Youtube for the younger ones, waiting on the girls to get back, and in the meantime, my computer ran out of power. Usually we only show a short 10 minute video and song after we read the story. When this happened Daniel had just left to get tea down the street, so I just kinda threw down our worksheets for them to complete, as I cannot teach anything without him there, and mostly they don't understand English. So, anyway, I think you get the drift...things just felt like they were falling apart. Daniel had expressed later that he was quite mad about the girls being taken away for laundry, and he said he had to hold his tongue...remembering what I had said on the way there.
So, the next time we were scheduled to visit(Tues.), I really needed to rest, since the day before(which was supposed to be my rest day) we ended up getting surprised with needing to take Harinad and Aravind to their slum for the three day holiday(Mon-Wed). And then on Wednesday we had to pick them up. So there went two days of our program. Today we will be going, so we are now back on track...I think...lol. A worker there asked where we were Tuesday, and I told her I needed to rest, but the truth was I just felt burned out and discouraged, and generally unappreciated knowing our time and efforts had not been respected. You may be thinking that I am being a little dramatic, but when you couple my own struggles being in a new country alone and trying to adjust and acclimate to the language and culture...and to this orphanage in general...with the push back we are getting on something we are devoting our hearts and time into...you can become very easily discouraged. I am also not telling everything we have noticed there and vibes we have gotten, so there is a little more to the story that I will probably share later. And so my prayer has been for wisdom, patience and perseverance.
Don't get me wrong, things are not all bad there. I believe we have made a lot of progress with relationships, both with the children, elderly, and a few workers. And as much as this is a "Christian" orphanage, based on what I have experienced and witnessed, my objective there has evolved into more of a secret mission, that I had not anticipated, to win hearts for Jesus from the top down...
Please read my next blog "Chapter 2: Nadu's Angels"(coming soon) to understand how my recent discouragement dissipates, and how my journey is shocked with a beam of brilliant light to penetrate the darkness...straight from Almighty God. He has a plan....He is faithful, I remind myself.
"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me...to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor." Isaiah 61:1,3
I already had the feeling prior to this day that we might be seen as a little bit of a threat, especially to the founder who is like the Matriarch there who already conducts prayer and Bible reading with the kids each night. It's strange because we were even asked to do more with the kids, and also got approval before starting our "program." So, on the way there the next visit, I told Daniel that if anything goes against our plan, or if something comes up, we will just continue to be very patient and agreeable. We should not let the enemy win, because He certainly does not want us to teach and show the love of God to these children, so we need to preserve the relationship with people in charge at all costs. The last time(wood day), we had expressed to one of the teenage girls(who is actually a granddaughter to the founder) that in the future a phone call would be really nice, so not sure how that was translated or how they received that. So, we show up on the next visit, and about five minutes after we got there, waiting for them to finish their lunch to start, the older girls(four, around age 12) were called to do laundry. It was as if we were not even there...
We were disappointed, and for the girls mostly, because we know that they enjoy our study, and wouldn't be happy about being taken away for laundry. I ended up playing some funny videos on Youtube for the younger ones, waiting on the girls to get back, and in the meantime, my computer ran out of power. Usually we only show a short 10 minute video and song after we read the story. When this happened Daniel had just left to get tea down the street, so I just kinda threw down our worksheets for them to complete, as I cannot teach anything without him there, and mostly they don't understand English. So, anyway, I think you get the drift...things just felt like they were falling apart. Daniel had expressed later that he was quite mad about the girls being taken away for laundry, and he said he had to hold his tongue...remembering what I had said on the way there.
So, the next time we were scheduled to visit(Tues.), I really needed to rest, since the day before(which was supposed to be my rest day) we ended up getting surprised with needing to take Harinad and Aravind to their slum for the three day holiday(Mon-Wed). And then on Wednesday we had to pick them up. So there went two days of our program. Today we will be going, so we are now back on track...I think...lol. A worker there asked where we were Tuesday, and I told her I needed to rest, but the truth was I just felt burned out and discouraged, and generally unappreciated knowing our time and efforts had not been respected. You may be thinking that I am being a little dramatic, but when you couple my own struggles being in a new country alone and trying to adjust and acclimate to the language and culture...and to this orphanage in general...with the push back we are getting on something we are devoting our hearts and time into...you can become very easily discouraged. I am also not telling everything we have noticed there and vibes we have gotten, so there is a little more to the story that I will probably share later. And so my prayer has been for wisdom, patience and perseverance.
Don't get me wrong, things are not all bad there. I believe we have made a lot of progress with relationships, both with the children, elderly, and a few workers. And as much as this is a "Christian" orphanage, based on what I have experienced and witnessed, my objective there has evolved into more of a secret mission, that I had not anticipated, to win hearts for Jesus from the top down...
Please read my next blog "Chapter 2: Nadu's Angels"(coming soon) to understand how my recent discouragement dissipates, and how my journey is shocked with a beam of brilliant light to penetrate the darkness...straight from Almighty God. He has a plan....He is faithful, I remind myself.
"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me...to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor." Isaiah 61:1,3
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